Hats

The weather in Chicago is still cold enough that when you go out you want to wear a coat, gloves, scarf and hat. The last time that Randy and I were in the City we saw a lot of people wearing really funky hats. It reminded me of a Christmas years ago when our oldest son had just returned from his mission. Being a student, he had no money so he went to DI and bought a hat for each one of us. He's always been good with words so he wrote a poem to go with each hat. We had a ton of fun with those hats, including a mini-movie with type-casting and featuring our new chapeaus. So mostly for our children (who are probably the only people who read this blog anyway) here is a little trip down Memory Lane.

For Dad:
Mornings downtown often get downright chilly,
Yet most stocking caps can make one look quite silly.
Your old hats are tacky -- the wrong way to go,
Yet you can't go to work, your bald spot topped with snow.
So here's a high-class fashion statement for you. . .
A little red bonnet -- your career-dream come true.

For Mom:
Though you may be near 50, your face tells a lie.
It says you're just 30, you've got to be sly
And keep your skin supple, soft as a rose,
Protect all your features, especially your nose.
This hat with nose flap will ward off the cold
And keep you (at 50) looking just half that old.

For Kristin:
When we were just kids our lives surely were rough.
We had no Girbauds, Nikes and all that stuff.
Our folks were still poor and we had to wear Trax.
The Clothing Exchange was the source of our slacks.
But times have now changed and I went to great cost
To give you the style that you in your youth lost.

For Heidi:
This year you've picked where your priorities lie.
Your fondness of boys just about makes me cry.
But if you must chase them, at least do it right --
No guy worth getting gets got without a fight.
So I give you this hat -- but beware, guys will swarm
When they learn that this hat (through your love) could keep them warm.

For Travis:
You talk much of hugeness and bodily bulk.
You clearly see yourself as some sort of hulk.
To find a hat that fits a head big as yours
Was certainly among the worlds toughest chores.
But at last I found one that matched your physique,
And you've got to admit that it looks rather sheik.

For Robert:
I noticed with glee that you've started shaving.
The long road to manhood you now are paving.
Maturity oozes from every pore,
But shaving's not all -- no, there's quite a bit more.
To act like a man is a strenuous art,
So here's a hat that will help you play the part.


For Quinn:
For him who sews eels on a regular basis,
A gift of marine life would be rather tasteless.
You need a gift that sparks your creative juices,
That all of your billowing mental strength looses.
The only gift worthy is a "thinking cap"
That fastens beneath with a fancy chin strap.